It's Never Too Late To Change

Last week and this week have both been very challenging. Do you ever have those days (or weeks) where it feels like nothing is working right? You come home from a hard day at work and all you want to do is stuff your face with pizza and watch your favorite show and for some reason the Internet is down? It's perfectly clear outside but the Internet just decides not to work. Or the vending machine eats your money, or your dog gets sick and throws up everywhere in the middle of the night, or you've been holding your bladder forever at work because you've been working diligently on a project and when you finally break and get up to go to the downstairs bathroom the toilets are out of order so you have to go all the way up the stairs, down the hall, around two corners and up some more stairs to the other bathroom. Yea -- it's been that kind of week for me, for two weeks.

Day after day I said to myself, "Okay, tomorrow will be easier," and it wasn't. It. Wasn't.

I have been so snappy, especially at work. I find myself frequently turning to my friend and saying "I just have to vent about this!!! Can I vent to you?!" But you know what?

I rarely feel better after complaining. 

And the fact that I usually don't feel better, and oftentimes worse, makes me even more frustrated. AH! Again and again part of our pastor, Justin's, sermon ran through my mind. A few months ago he brought two apples into our church gathering and put them side by side on top of a speaker so we could all see them. He said one apple was fake and one was real. He pointed to one and said, "raise your hand if you think this one is the fake one." About half the people raised their hands. He pointed to the other one and said the same. About half the people raised their hands. Then he chose one guy and said, "Which one is the real one? Whichever you choose you have to take a bite out of it." Luckily, the guy chose the real one.

The point of his illustration was that both apples looked real from far away. The only way to know which was real was to bite into one. Then he posed the question to us:

"How do you respond when you get bitten?"

Ouch. That question hurt, because I know me, and I don't always react, respond the way that I should.

Then he gave some examples:

"You know, when you're in line at McDonald's and somebody cuts in line. What do you do? Or you're driving down the highway and somebody cuts you off. Do you flip the bird? What do you do?"

I've been bitten these last two weeks. And let me tell you what, my responses haven't usually been fruits of the Spirit, kindness, gentleness, self-control, etc.


My niece Maggie was my first niece on my side of the family. I love her so, so much, just as I love all the others. But I remember one night when I was still living at home with my parents she came over for a sleepover. She was probably about 1 1/2 at the time. I hadn't gotten to spend nearly as much time with her as I wanted, so time with her was so precious. We decided to watch her favorite movie, and she sat on my lap the whole time. Every once in awhile she would put her little hand on mine and gently pat my hand. I wasn't quite sure why, but it made me cry. Her sweetness and her gentleness and her loving way just overwhelmed me. I cry now even as I think back on it.

I think the reason she sometimes makes me cry this way is because she is, as I said, so sweet and gentle and loving and joyful. I think there is a part of me that wants to be that way, but feels like I can't because I'm an adult with so many responsibilities and regrets and frustrations and disappointments. I'm jaded.

But as I was driving home the other night I was thinking about this and God said: "It's never too late to change."

He wants me to come to Him as a child, trusting Him and loving Him fully, relying on Him to take care of me and believing that He will. To give Him my burdens, and to take on His burden which is light.

When we get bitten by the harsh things of this world, we can exude the fruits of the Spirit. We can respond in:

love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23).

Who doesn't love and appreciate a person and a response like that??

I don't know about you, but if I've been frustrated in a day, sometimes I feel like I can't get out of it. Like, well I've already freaked out today or acted pissed off today so I can't just flip the switch. But we can. The lie is that we can't.

My greatest desire is that when people look at me they see Him; they see God in my reactions, in my personality, in my responses; that people would know that He exists because of the way that I love others. It is a difficult thing to walk in love toward yourself and to others, but that's what we're supposed to do. I'm not going to believe the lie that just because I have reacted poorly for two weeks, that I have to continue in that, because I don't. I can change, even if the circumstances around me don't.